BRAIN DAMAGE

stress nye aku dgn final exams kali ni!! kepala aku nk pecah xingat dunia.. xde gap.. come on la 3 hr b4 1st paper final nk start still ada asgment!! wat def??!! aduh.. mmg aku ley babye la kt DL aku..ntah2 nk cium bau pn xlepas..

uwaaa!!! sedih nyer...!!! stress nyer...!!! spe nk tlg aku ni??.. betul2 demotivated la aku ni.. seyis aku ni dh mula mengenali apa itu hidup yg xde life...make sense x?? bpe lme aku dh x kua nk hv fun dgn kwn2 aku.. ayi dtg pn aku dh terlalu letih nk kua dating dgn die (sory syg..) but that's d truth..

damn la..u ppl yg x amik sem cm ktorg sem ni..u hv no idea kegilaan yg melanda kami..adeh penat! penat! dui pn abis wat asgment semata.. cit!!

TOLONG..!! SERIOUSLY I'M HAVING A BRAIN-DAMAGE!!

CINTA

Apa itu cinta? kelakar..kalu kite tanye 1001 org tentu kite dpt 1001 jwpn yg berbeza. sedangkan cinta itu adalah satu yg sgt subjektif tetapi cinta itu hanyalah satu. bagaimana sesuatu yg tiada zahir boleh membuat seseorg itu terseksa batin nye. aku tau ramai yg sengsara hanya kerana cinta, baik laki atau pn pompuan. ye aku tau ade jek org-org yg tertentu yg pass comment saying dat 'org yg menangis kerana cinta, adalah bodoh'. benar dan salah. benar sbnrnye org yg menangis kerana cinta mmg bodoh. kenape nk menangis bile org itu sakitkn kite? bukan kah kita patut marah? salah, kerana org yg ckp tu xtau apa rsenye bile telah terlalu mencintai akhirnye duka yg diterime.

aku ni bukan la pakar cinta. tp aku ada banyak pengalaman dalam soal cinta ni. baik pengalaman diri aku sendiri atau pn pengalaman org sekeliling aku. sepanjang hidup aku dah macam2 aku tgk benda yg terjadi dalam cinta. ada yg happy mengikis duit org, ada pulak yg sedih bile dikikis, ada yg kene tipu dgn laki org, ada yg sengaja mempermainkan org dan ada juga yg sanggup buat apa saja kerana si dia. dahsyat kn?

kite selalu tgk di tv dlm cite2 english saying dat 'men come from different planet'. betul x? kadang2 aku mmg rse yg laki ni dtg dr planet yg lain. not literally. hehe. tp mmg laki ni xphm kite pompuan. bukan nye dorg xtau, dorg tau tp just mmg nature dorg utk tidak menuruti kehendak kite. xleh la nk salahkan dorg jek, kite pn sme jek. laki pn akan ckp bnd yg sme. pmpuan ni xphm laki. bukan x phm syg oi. phm..tp mcm korg, ktorg ssh nk turuti kehendak korg. tuhan jadi pmpuan ni satu makhluk yg lemah dan laki itu kuat dlm setiap segi berbanding pompuan. sbb itu la laki kne lebih memahami keadaan pompuan itu dan give in.

bersambung...

LOSER

I think you are such a loser. I don't know what it your MF problem but I really think that you are no different from any other people you have been criticizing. I ain't perfect too. I know you too must have been talking about ,e behind my back..no surprise ther 'tho. Face it you're nothing but yet another loser. I know I am. I am such a loser for keeping this to myself and not say it to your face. You know why? Because I know the boundaries of hurting people feelings. Look! I'm the one who had to take the lead in situation like this. Why? because you don't even bother. That's why!! Now that you didn't do your 'homework', you put your blame on me. WTF ??!!!

*emotional dramatic breakdown*

YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE !

Ehem ehem..excuse me??! Livingfool?? Hahaha...! In you face!! At your home dude! 4-1 bebeh!! 4-1 !! Hahaha..REDS ARE HOT!! Long live liverpool!! The best game yet!! Hahaha...

NOBODY BUT YOU

I'm not the type that usually hate life. but i never said i never did. oh whatever. but sometimes you just really hate it when people just don't care what you say to them or never being supportive with what you said. especially to those people that you really expect to be supportive with what you are telling or saying. i just don't get it. what is it so difficult for them to be supportive to me?

i know they are not like other people but sometimes it hurts me a knowing that i can't share things with them. not that i can's share things literally with them. it just on certain thing that you really looking forward them saying "oh, that's a good idea" or "ok..as long as you love doing it". what's wroong with just those words??

is it so hard to hear those things from them? i know maybe they just wanna be frank with you with how they actually feel about it. but..who am i suppose to turn to if it was not to them? it different when you talk to them and when you talk to others. the way the conversation goes is really different.

i don't why this bothers e so much? maybe it has happened so many times already that sometimes i went off ranging saying they never be suportive to me. maybe on certain things. but i know they are always there for me regarless what happens. certain things had happened in my life that have proved to me, there's nobody to can turn to except them. haih...

you know what no matter what, i still love them and i won't trade them for anything in this world. even 'tho sometimes it upsets me so much or most of the time, i know there are nobody better than them. i know i couldn't get mad for so long to them. just gimme 5 minutes and i know we will peace things out as quick as a lightning bolt.

I LOVE YOU MAMA & AYAH <3

FRIENDS OR FOE?

Sometimes i just don't get certain people escpecially the ones that are close to you. You always thought they are the ones who understand you d most. But turns out you were wrong. In simpler words, you just can't stop getting on my nerves. why ar? Like i said, you always give unwanted comments that i couldn't care less to listen to.The problem is, i think you have a case of envy towards me. I have no idea what is your problem. You complainted that others condemmed you but have you ever realised that you are condemming me?

First it was my shoes, the it was my handbags then its my shirt and my taste my entertainment..and what's next? Look, i never condemmed in any ways. Even if i was trying to pass a negative comment, i know i'll do it a proper way. Even if i'm already use to ur "attitude" but doesn't mean that you can act like that with me all the time. I know we are tide, but at some point i think you don'even care to take care of how i actually feel. You said that you have no place you tell your heart out. There certain things that only you could tell me. Hmm..darling i don't think so. I think i know you less and even more less now.

I am not forcing you to tell me things that you don't wanna tell me. I'm fine with it. Even 'tho not 100% but at least i'm not forcing you to. Honey, as long as i can bare with your judgement and condemming you will only see me nodding and synically smiling. I won't say a word just to get "even" with you. I know the line between hurting people that you couldn't care less and hurting people that you not worth losing.

But know this, i hope if one day i'm gone from your life, you will realize how mush i've been there for you. But if you don't then i guess i was just an idiot.

p/s : I love people that i care about

GOOD THINGS COME OUT OF ADVERSITY

Aaa how it is typically ironic how people always think that they are the only people who are actually living on this planet. Now, don't get me wrong. This statement applies to me too. Oh well, to make it more interesting...

Just so for these couple of weeks I couldn't stand the sights of people around me, not all but a few. They kept getting on my nerves day by day. I don't know what I did wrong but I'm quite sure I did most of the silence, to say that I am living a bit out of everybody's life nowadays. As so my life can get suckier and more suckier with having a major change in my social life which I practically grounded from time to time from someone so called C. Eurgh!

A just gets on my nerves. Well not all the time. We are less communicating now. As usual, A only needs me when A needs me which refers to a simplify pharse "Hey W, where are you? I need you? Can we talk?". Not to say that when A is happy, A never called. How do I explain? So hard! Maybe there was from time to time that I hated A so much but I couldn't bring it out of me to say it. See, I'm the type that I just don't say what I'm not happy about or things that irritates me to faces of my friends. Friends are different. They are more easily hurt and sometimes they just can't take it when it comes out from you. So how actually you let these so called friends know that you're not happy with them?

Even worse when O just started to change. O beginning to get more irritating and worse 'gedik' literally. I feel like O is drifting away from me day by day. I know things are different now. O and me are living in two different 'world'. But what happened with all the fun we had back then? So O had fun here too and mostly without me. I don't mind. Is not like O n I are a couple that we need to be together all the time. I feel like O is forgetting me little by little. And it aches. It made me feel like I don't have friends anymore well instead I do and plenty more. But how come O reactions actually bothers me the most. Well maybe in the case that O also only looks for me as a last resort lately. O doesn't want to share stories with me anymore since that O got M and B now. I beginning to dislike O. Is as if I don't want to talk to O anymore unless O starts it first. It is a total mysery. I know O and M have known each other longer than I know O but so what? O can't have 2 friends at the same time? How lame. Now that O has the conviniences around her, it is for sure O doesn't need me anymore. Ahhh I feel like I wana live under a rock like Patrick. O! You're partly the reason I started to write this blog. Thanks to you!

After talking to C and D, they somehow managed to calm me down. They said why should we care about people that don't care about us and only be with us just when they need to, if they come back around just welcome them with open arms. (I can figure it out myself tho) should I? and I can quote from some that I know "Why make someone a priority when they only make you an option?". But it's just hard enough because biologically I care for people that exist in myself regardless what they had done. Oh O you hurt me darling. Deeply. I thought you were different but I guess you're just as same as R. You know the story. I've told you before. Guess you forgot since that you have a new life to run now. You probably too cool to even hang with me now. What a shock.

Darling I'm not trashing you. But this is just a way I can express how I am actually feeling right now. Sorry but friendships are very important to me especially close ones. I do care and love you and it is a shame to lose you as a friend. I know I'm not losing you but the drifting apart thing, kindda eating me up inside. Think about it O. Maybe you will never realized ut in time before I started not to care anymore.

Look I ain't perfect and so aren't you. But there's nothing wrong with blogging out your feelings.

But I'll try to look up for a brigther tomorrow because for me this is just another misfortune I have to live through and this is just half of the story and you yet to know the rest. So I'll say it again "Good Things Come Out of Adversity" =)


- The wheel always spins back -

Meows

xoxo