Just so for these couple of weeks I couldn't stand the sights of people around me, not all but a few. They kept getting on my nerves day by day. I don't know what I did wrong but I'm quite sure I did most of the silence, to say that I am living a bit out of everybody's life nowadays. As so my life can get suckier and more suckier with having a major change in my social life which I practically grounded from time to time from someone so called C. Eurgh!
A just gets on my nerves. Well not all the time. We are less communicating now. As usual, A only needs me when A needs me which refers to a simplify pharse "Hey W, where are you? I need you? Can we talk?". Not to say that when A is happy, A never called. How do I explain? So hard! Maybe there was from time to time that I hated A so much but I couldn't bring it out of me to say it. See, I'm the type that I just don't say what I'm not happy about or things that irritates me to faces of my friends. Friends are different. They are more easily hurt and sometimes they just can't take it when it comes out from you. So how actually you let these so called friends know that you're not happy with them?
Even worse when O just started to change. O beginning to get more irritating and worse 'gedik' literally. I feel like O is drifting away from me day by day. I know things are different now. O and me are living in two different 'world'. But what happened with all the fun we had back then? So O had fun here too and mostly without me. I don't mind. Is not like O n I are a couple that we need to be together all the time. I feel like O is forgetting me little by little. And it aches. It made me feel like I don't have friends anymore well instead I do and plenty more. But how come O reactions actually bothers me the most. Well maybe in the case that O also only looks for me as a last resort lately. O doesn't want to share stories with me anymore since that O got M and B now. I beginning to dislike O. Is as if I don't want to talk to O anymore unless O starts it first. It is a total mysery. I know O and M have known each other longer than I know O but so what? O can't have 2 friends at the same time? How lame. Now that O has the conviniences around her, it is for sure O doesn't need me anymore. Ahhh I feel like I wana live under a rock like Patrick. O! You're partly the reason I started to write this blog. Thanks to you!
After talking to C and D, they somehow managed to calm me down. They said why should we care about people that don't care about us and only be with us just when they need to, if they come back around just welcome them with open arms. (I can figure it out myself tho) should I? and I can quote from some that I know "Why make someone a priority when they only make you an option?". But it's just hard enough because biologically I care for people that exist in myself regardless what they had done. Oh O you hurt me darling. Deeply. I thought you were different but I guess you're just as same as R. You know the story. I've told you before. Guess you forgot since that you have a new life to run now. You probably too cool to even hang with me now. What a shock.
Darling I'm not trashing you. But this is just a way I can express how I am actually feeling right now. Sorry but friendships are very important to me especially close ones. I do care and love you and it is a shame to lose you as a friend. I know I'm not losing you but the drifting apart thing, kindda eating me up inside. Think about it O. Maybe you will never realized ut in time before I started not to care anymore.
Look I ain't perfect and so aren't you. But there's nothing wrong with blogging out your feelings.
But I'll try to look up for a brigther tomorrow because for me this is just another misfortune I have to live through and this is just half of the story and you yet to know the rest. So I'll say it again "Good Things Come Out of Adversity" =)
- The wheel always spins back -
Meows
xoxo
